Inside the heart of an Unwanted Child

What if one day, you wake up and found out that the family you were living in for years were not the real family you are supposed to be with? What will you do? What will you feel? Will you start hating them and be a rebel? Will you pack up your things and leave them? Will you curse them for not telling you the truth?

I always wonder how it feels like to be an adopted child. It sounds really crazy, but it really made me think of it more. There were lots of what ifs running in my mind whenever I think about this idea. What if my real parents are wealthy? Or what if I am an only child and my parents were too poor to feed me that they had to give me up? Those were the kind of what ifs that will never be answered for I am not an adopted child. But where did this idea came from? How did it start juggling in my poor twisted brain? Well, the TV series were the one to blame. Placing an adopted child in most of the drama series and movies; making them furious when their characters were revealed –that they were just adopted.

Yes, you were adopted. Yes, they were not your real parents, not even your real siblings. And that made you think that you should be sulking, grieving in the corner, and then start living your life unhappily. You feel so broken, incomplete and unwanted. You even want to end your life just because you found out that you, yes you, were an adopted child. That’s really ridiculous. Yes, you have all the rights to be angry because they didn’t tell you sooner about it. Yes, you can ignore them for a while so you can think clearly and have some of your own space. But, you don’t have the right to cursed them to death and give them heart attack for slashing your wrist to end your life. That was too childish and gibberish; something that a crazy person would do. (I know, I should zip my mouth and be quiet for I don’t even know what I’m talking about. I’m not even an adopted child.) But this thing is something I could not tolerate. I have to speak up and voice my opinion before it rots in the corner of my mind.

I understand where these all came from. Your heart were torn into pieces, feeling abandoned and unloved that you fell into the darkness of life and you forgot all the things you had before you found out the truth. If I were in your shoes, I don’t think I would be infuriated about the truth. I won’t even dare to create a chaos to the people who adopted me. And I would never hate them. I would be very grateful to them. I would even hug them tightly as possible as I can and tell them how much they mean to me, how much I love them. Why? Simply because of the fact that they adopted me, gave me a shelter to live, clothes to wear, food to eat, and more importantly, gave me love my real parents couldn’t give. What more can I ask for, right? If I were an adopted, I would be grateful than resentful. I would love my parents more and thank them for the rest of my life.

I may not be in your shoes nor feel the way you are feeling, but I want you to know that whatever happens, being happy is better than being desolated, right? So, get up, wipe your tears and live the life you have now. And always remember, being a family is not always about blood, sometimes, it’s about the connection you have that made you a family.

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