Dear Past

Dear past, how are you? It’s been awhile since we had a talk. I hope you are doing perfectly fine. Sometimes, when I think about you, I felt a striking pain in my heart, resulting in an abnormal speed of beating making me numb after. I had difficulty breathing so I have to pause for a moment and continue thinking about you.

Do you know that I hated your guts sometimes? I hated how talkative you are, making people to disliked you. ? Yeah, you don’t know that because you keep blabbering even if they don’t listen to you. Not only that, they hated how you top your class year by year. They don’t really like how you can be a smart ass; how teachers favored you over some kids. Didn’t you know that they find you so annoying? Or you knew but you pretended not to notice? Yeah, I guess that’s how it was. You were so good in pretending and I should congratulate you because of that. Pretending not be hurt, keeping all your pain and hurts inside you, bottling it up without someone to notice is a tough job and I must say that you nailed it. It surely made you one tough hell of a woman. But I know, deep in your heart, you wanted to be noticed. You want someone to notice all your pain. You want someone to pat you on the back and tell you that everything will be fine; that you are not alone. Too bad there was no one who seemed to notice how trouble you were. Keeping that resting bitch face of yours, with a cold shoulder as if nothing really matter to you, you totally rocked that Stone-Hearted Woman title.

But I want you to know dear past, that it’s alright. You must know that because of you, I managed to overcome a lot of struggles and to get to where I am right now. And oh yeah, I was able to ditch that RBF (Resting Bitch Face) and became more interactive and sociable, but I still do it once in a while. Hehehe! Thank you for making me stronger and independent and be who I am today. You are a part of me and I will never forget you. You and I will always be inseparable. You’re a part of me I will always look back on once in a while whenever I feel like I’m losing it; that I’m not good enough. For you, my past self is a clear evidence that I can do everything, especially if I put my heart into it.

I’ll stop here for now. We’ll talk again some other time.


Your Present Self.


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