One of my friends posted a few weeks ago about being wanting to be in a relationship, yet she automatically shut people out and put on a wall between those who wanted to know her better. I automatically replied to her post, “Been there, done that. You will stop when you know it feels right… When you know they should be in your life.” Then she asked me, “How’d you know if the time was right?”
I paused for a moment and think deeply.
How did I ever know that the time was right? I’m not sure either, but like her, when I was in her age, I am also terrified about not having a romantic relationship with the opposite sex. I wanted to be a normal girl with a sweet boyfriend who would be there for me always, treat me like a princess and be his world. But when someone asked me out, I would bluntly say NO. Yeah, I never said yes to anyone of them (until two years ago).
What made me say yes in the first place after so many years of being “boyfriend-less” (I know there isn’t such a word but I want to use that word rather than single. Hehehe!)? It wasn’t because it felt right that time or because he scored high in my invisible check-list. I said yes to that stupid douche bag guy because I was agitated and a bit desperate that time. I thought he can be the right one for me. He almost had all the qualities that I was looking for a guy. And not only that, my parents and siblings approved of him. They told me to give him a chance that I disregarded the bad intuition I had for him. I didn’t listen to my guts that that guy won’t be good for me.
And I was right. My gut was right. He was a fake. He pretended to be Mr. Right but all along, he was really Mr. Wrong. I gave him my trust but he cheated on me. What a stupid jerk he was. Thus, that made me realized that even if someone passed your high standards (he even scored 98% on your check list), if it feels wrong, then definitely, he wasn’t the right guy.
So, I told my friend that if it doesn’t feel right, then it’s not yet the right time. She said how ironic it was and she laughed. So I explained further that when you feel that your life feels so wrong without that person, then he really should be in it and give that person a chance. And I told her not to panic and not to be anxious about being single (She is only twenty three years old, for goodness sake). Feeling incomplete without a romantic partner isn’t healthy. That means you are not happy with yourself. Before entering a relationship, you should be feeling complete and happy with yourself, and you love yourself too much that all you can do is share it with someone else.
Forgiving him was easy, but forgetting what he has done to me was a different issue. I forgave him for hurting me, and I forgave myself for trusting him. But I didn’t forget the mistake I’ve done so I won’t commit it again. And that leads me to my Mr. Right. Yes, I met him, and I am happy to say that I am hundred percent sure about him. It feels right to be with him and whenever the thought of losing him crosses my mind, it made me feel like crying. He’s like the guy version of me and I’m grateful that I met him just in time.
Your God’s gift will arrive when you are all ready to receive it; when you become the right one yourself. Everything will take place in God’s perfect time- to the most unexpected place and time.